The Alexithymia

That guilty feeling comes when you drag them into your life

“If you make someone feel guilty about their mistake, then you have not forgiven them. That guilt is itself punishment”. — Sri Ravi Shankar

I do not understand whether I feel happy or not. On one side I feel very grateful and lucky. However, on the other hand, I feel very guilty for acting as I pleased alone.

Forgive me for bringing you into my life that is far deep. I forgot, I only think of myself. I forgot that everyone has their own life, which is different, which I never even knew. This regret comes, which has forgotten how tired you sailed through life. This selfishness puts you at greater risk to bear.

You’re insecurities.

Relying on you is my annoying habit right? why do I always want to be asked why? Even tho everyone can’t always cheer himself up.

“Do you think other people don’t need to encourage themselves? to be busy taking care of you and convincing you to keep your spirits up. Do you think they will voluntarily accept you and increase their burden? No, they are. They will be tired too. Then what do you hope for?”

Right, why never occurred to me before. I should have realized it from the start. I can’t always rely on others to make me look fine. Forgive me.

I should be able to handle it myself.

Tomorrow I promise not to see you again and always depend on you. I will continue to fight as hard as I can. Only myself can overcome it. Thank you for all who’ve entered my life. Vigor!